Often in psychological circles the phrase “having healthy boundaries” comes up in reference to clients interacting with others, be it family members, friends, or the wider public. I have noticed that many times, clients don’t really understand what that means. We know what the words mean, obviously, but how do we actually have healthy boundaries?
Read moreTIP Skills
This is a series of four skills or techniques that together can be remembered with the acronym TIP. They each help to change the emotional state through very physical or behavioral means because as you may have noticed if you’ve ever been in a state of heightened emotion, bringing in the cognitive skill (thinking) is extremely hard to do if not impossible.
Read moreBurn some Bridges!
The concept of Bridge Burning is to remove the means of acting on harmful urges or behaviors.
Read moreUrge Surfing
Imagine a surfer on the waves. She waits patiently for the swell, she paddles out to meet it and then she rides the wave, after which she returns to waiting for the next wave. This is the image you might use when thinking about and using Urge Surfing.
Read moreKindness and Compassion
Humans tend to be highly judgmental not only of others but of themselves. Sometimes we judge ourselves even more harshly than we would others. It is not always easy to be nonjudging. The antidote to judgment may be kindness and compassion.
Read moreSelf-Soothe
This month, I urge you to try the skill of “Self Soothe”. It is both a distress tolerance skill as well as a general stress relieving skill and an important part of your daily routine--not just something you do on special occasions.
Read moreUnhelpful Thinking Styles
These ten Unhelpful Thinking Styles have a big impact on our feelings about situations so identifying these thinking styles can then begin a process of changing them and thereby changing our feelings.
Read moreUse Technology
It may come as a surprise to those that know me that I would recommend the use of technology as the skill of the month this month. However, the intentional use of technology can be very helpful to us as long as we are using it intelligently. If we USE technology effectively, we can help ourselves improve our mental health. Here is my list of favorite, helpful apps for better mental health!
Read moreBehavioral Analysis
This month, the skill I’d like to highlight is a great one to use when you find that you’re engaging in behavior which you would like to change. In DBT it is known as “behavior analysis” or “chain analysis”.
Read moreDo Something Pleasant
One very important skill in both Cognitive Behavioral Therapy as well as Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is Build Positive Experience. Try to do at least one thing every day to make yourself feel competent and in control.
Read moreMake a Plan
Today, some tips for how to increase the likelihood that you’ll be able to accomplish your goals—whether they’re New Year’s Resolutions or simply stuff you want to do or have to do. The skill of the month is Make a Plan!
Read moreSelf Soothe
This month's Skill of the Month is all about taking care of ourselves by engaging in soothing activities. Using self-soothing activities for ourselves when we are in an emotionally heightened state proves to be a very effective way to reduce emotional reactivity and increase relaxation. Additionally, it is a useful skill that increases our engagement with our environment.
Read moreEncouragement
Cheerleaders have the task of keeping the audience engaged, entertained, and to help the athletes stay motivated in the game, even when things are not looking so good for the team. It's a hard job to keep spirits up when it looks like you're losing. The idea behind Encouragement is just that, though.
Read moreWise Mind
The majority of the time a question has been asked or a decision must be made, it is not life or death. We really do have time to consider before answering or deciding. This month's skill helps us to step back and consider carefully before jumping into an impulsive act that we may later come to regret.
Read morePrayer/Poetry
The goal of this month's skill is to bring comfort to ourselves or others, to remind ourselves of all the positive things that we have going for us, and sometimes, depending on where you are, to bring together a community and show support for one another.
Read moreTake a Vacation!
I wrote this post a week ago because I knew that today I would be on vacation and not want to do any kind of "work". So, it's not surprising that I would be thinking about this skill. I am on a literal vacation but the skill of Vacation doesn't have to be literal.
Read moreThoughts
Today's skill of the month comes from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). It is part of the acronym ACCEPTS. ACCEPTS is part of the distress tolerance skill module and the Thoughts which are part of this are meant to distract one from the current stressful situation.
Read moreProgressive Muscle Relaxation
Whether you call it Progressive Muscle Relaxation, Paired Muscle Relaxation, or simply Progressive Relaxation, the technique and goal are the same: to quickly relax your body and therefore relax your mind.
Read morePebble Meditation
Meditation is a very good skill and helpful for a variety of mental health issues like depression and anxiety. Many people find traditional meditation hard to do, however, so the skill of the month I'd like to share is a meditation that is much more accessable and easy to do. It is a "self-guided meditation" called the Pebble Meditation.
Read moreOpen Hands
Today's Skill of the Month is a rather clever tool to use when negative things are coming your way. This skill again comes from DBT and in that format, Dr. Marsha Linehan refers to it as "Willing Hands". I call it "Open Hands" because it actually helps you to know what it is you're trying to do--keep your hands open.
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